Saturday, 28 January 2012

Just For Comfort...

I hold my baby every time she cries...just for comfort.
I know she isn't really hungry, but I let her come close and nurse anyway...just for comfort.
As she falls asleep, I'm always there; singing, rocking, nursing...just for comfort.
And most nights, she sleeps in my bed...just for comfort.
By day, I notice her, noticing the world, and if she looks lost or confused, I pick her up...just for comfort.
I let her move away, branch out, explore, until she falls, or hesitates, or looks to me, and then I offer her my arms...just for comfort.
When she's scared, or sad, or cross, or lost, I try to understand, to be there...just for comfort.
And any time she wants to snuggle, day or night, I stop everything else and hold her...just for comfort.

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I write...just for comfort.
I paint, I dance, I sing...just for comfort.
I take a book, light a lamp, and get cosy...just for comfort.
I laugh with friends...just for comfort.
I walk, I run, I dream, I plan, I travel...just for comfort.
I return home...just for comfort.
I hold you tight, and you hold me...just for comfort.

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I pour another drink...just for comfort.
I eat, and eat, and eat, long after I am full...just for comfort.
I roll myself another...just for comfort.
I try to find the vein...just for comfort.
I spend the night with him...just for comfort.
I slowly make the cut, and feel the sing of pain, and watch the red line form...just for comfort.
I search, and search, and search...for comfort.

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Never underestimate the value of 'comfort'.
Don't hold back in your expressions of love, don't worry about spoiling, and don't pay attention to anyone who says you are creating bad habits.
You cannot hold your baby too much, respond too much, love too much or comfort too much.
When you comfort your baby or child, you are teaching them how to find comfort in good, healthy places, inside and outside of themselves.
When they are very small, they think that they are still a part of you, so when you comfort them, they just think they are comforting themselves, feel good, and learn a little bit more about how it's done.
As they grow, they realise that you are separate people, but they still need you to show them the way, to be their anchor and compass in the emotional ocean.
In your warm embrace they discover that they can feel distressed and then return to calm.
They discover that it's really quite simple.
If a child is not given the comfort that they need, they might spend a whole lifetime looking everywhere and in all the wrong places for the reassurance that they missed.
But if they find it, in you, and in the tender comforting ways that you teach them, they will never forget its location, for the rest of their life.

So really, 'comfort' is not, 'just for comfort', after all.



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14 comments:

  1. Incredible- thank you so much for sharing!

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  2. Oh, I like this. I LOVE this. Glad I found your blog today.

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  3. Thank you! Your blog looks lovely, I will explore it!
    x

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  4. I really needed to read this tonight. Thanks for posting this!

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  5. Pretty sure my eating disorders and low self-esteem are linked to early childhood. Great post. Reaffirms what I am doing for my child.

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    1. I'm afraid you are almost certainly right unknown, and I can't help thinking its a shame that policy makers don't share your insight. Only this week in the Uk politicians have talked about a possible 'tax on sugar' to tackle obesity, whilst with the same breath telling us that they want all children to be 'educated in nurseries' from the age of 2. I wish they could see the connection between early childhood experience and later personal and social problems more clearly. :-(
      Good for you for breaking the cycle, I wish you all the best x

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  6. I am in tears. Trying so hard to find some comfort.

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    1. I'm really sorry to hear that Anon. I can't help you as I don't know who or where you are but I dearly wish I could... I just hope you can find some support and comfort from someone close to you. Warm hugs to you. x

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  7. I agree with this 110%. Well said.

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  8. You have such a lovely, lyrical way of writing. Thank you! This was simply beautiful...

    I'm going to nurse my babies to sleep now, just for comfort :-)

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    1. Thank you so much Mama Mo!
      I just shared your lovely blog via my fb page. Best for now x

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